A Tiny Fracture Gave My Left Hand the Opportunity to Paint

I remember it clearly… it was August 19th, 2019, and I was on my way home. I started running for the bus, in a split second I flew into the air and fell over. My feet somehow got stuck on the smooth surface of North Greenwich station.

I couldn’t move for a bit, my body acted far more quickly than my mind! A lady next to me helped me by packing my handbag and kept saying I think you have broken your elbow or something. I saw what happened, shall I call an ambulance?

The mighty me said “No thank you! I am alright just a bit in shock”!

I went and queued for my bus and by the time I got home my elbow had started to swell and bruise. I applied ice and took arnica. Then the pain started. That night I couldn’t sleep. The next morning, I visited A&E, after an x-ray I left with my arm in a sling. They told me it was a minor fracture and it would heal in 3 to 4 weeks!!!

I couldn’t believe it! 3-4 weeks with my right hand out of action? How could this be? How on earth could I continue to manage my day to day life?

The reality of it was far stronger than my mind or my will. My entire right arm and hand were out of action – on strike! My left arm was at a loss... the poor left hand hadn’t been taken seriously enough for the past 46 years. The left arm was raised as a helper, not a do-er!

Slowly, slowly my left hand started to work hard for me. I had to ask for help for every little thing, even putting my own clothes on.

A tiny fracture turned everything upside down... forcing me to look at alternatives.

I started to draw with my left hand.  The outcome was amusing and fresh and far better than expected. It gave me something to do and enjoy despite everything else that was going on with the freaking tiny fracture.

Three to four weeks came and went, there was no improvement! Now they were talking about six months plus or doing a surgical procedure! Meanwhile, they kept x-raying the same spot where I said it hurt.

Our local hospital really and truly messed me about, endless appointments and rubbish conclusions for a tiny fracture!!! advising me to put as much pressure on my elbow as possible and to go against how it feels and functions. Scaring me that it might stay this way for the rest of my days!!!

Friends and colleagues urged me to seek alternative medical help as well as traditional medicine and that opened a door to sanity.

For the past four years, I’ve practiced yoga with Bernadette King, my amazing and wise yoga teacher. If I’ve learned one thing it’s to respect my body, listen to, and trust it. Sadly the majority of medical doctors do not want to hear you talking about alternative medicine or working with your body. They are looking to fix you and sometimes fixing just doesn’t work.

I was frustrated and anxious beyond measure. My physical ability was cut in half. I would get tired and out of breath so quickly that it brought me to tears. A tiny fracture, right!

During my yoga lessons, I would either end up in tears or very very hot, and angry. It felt like a battleground. I was so out of sync and out of balance and had no control over my right side. My body was not conforming! A tiny fracture had turned the right side of my body into a rebel!

Why? I kept asking why?

I read somewhere that at times like this the body is saying ENOUGH! Enough giving without receiving, enough of pleasing everyone and feeling depleted. Ask for help! Ask for rest. The right hand is the giving hand and the left hand is the receiving hand!

Stop giving for a while and focus on receiving. I listened and shifted my position. I started to do more self-portraits with my left hand and truly enjoyed the flow in them. A new discovery was made, my left hand was the artist I always wanted to be, yet I had bet everything on my right hand, the dominant control freak!

While my right arm was resting in the sling my left hand had the chance to show me how much of an artist it was. The right hand slowly, slowly started to gain some strength and started to snatch the brushes out of the left hand! (I wish I could have made an animation of this. It would have been hilarious).

I never saw myself as a control freak...I know better now! A tiny fracture right?

Acupuncture and Osteopathy helped a lot. Proper physio helped massively and swimming with swimming gloves too played a big part in healing my elbow and gaining full function.

Eleven months on my elbow is not 100% yet but it is functional and my physical ability is back to where it was.

Through private care, I discovered that my elbow, the main joint was broken and misaligned. It was a proper break! The lady who saw me falling was correct.

Now I look back at the artwork produced by my left hand and have decided to take the sling to the studio and give my left hand more opportunities to create! Who knows it might open new doors to my career!