Tanaz Assefi Artist About Me

As far back as I can remember…

I was always creating something with my little brother. We created our own world of handmade paper dolls and repurposed objects. Long summer breaks were heaven to us, spent giggling, creating endless stories, scenarios and life in a different shape or form. We were happy in this colourful world full of possibilities.

After the Islamic revolution everything in my world turned grey. I was anxious and nothing felt the same. Cheerful, colour-filled days at school turned sombre, angry and gloomy. I was terrified to talk about my colourful creations. I had no true understanding of what was going on, all I remember is the shock and the sense of no colour. A year after the revolution Iraq invaded Iran and we endured eight years of war. It made no sense to me, we were neighbours and shared many similarities in our culture and ways of life, yet suddenly we were enemies.

My brother and I continued to create stories and characters with paper and coloured pencils.

At fifteen I begged my Mum to let me join a nearby art class. I finished school with good grades, went to university and studied Graphic Design. My life had begun! With the help of tutors who’d studied and experienced art before the revolution, I got access to how to think, dream and be an artist. A door of endless possibilities opened up to me.

After university I moved to London to study for a Masters degree in Illustration and Animation. Studying in London came with a cost to my health. I became seriously ill and very weak, there was a chance I wouldn’t be able to finish the course, I pushed my self to the edge.

This was my first wake up call.

Soon after I fell in love, married and became pregnant. A pregnancy full of complications and anxiety. My baby was born eight and half weeks early in desperate need of intensive care. All I had, all I was, went into looking after my precious miracle baby. Those days are still so vivid in my mind’s eye, yet also a blur. The love I felt for him was something I’d never experienced before, yet being needed 24/7 was something I was not expecting. I think I lost my sense of self. I had very little support and lots of criticism during this time.

This was my second wake up call.

For almost four years I created no art! Maybe less than ten sketches in my sketchbook. Then I lost my precious beloved father and my heart shattered to pieces. I cannot explain the pain I felt, there are no words. I could only draw with black ink. My journey in healing myself through art and poetry began.
Grief lives inside of me just like love and passion. I can only direct and channel its energy into creating art. I acknowledge the power of it and use this energy to move forward sometimes in pain, sometimes in glory.

This was my third wake up call

  When my son started school I got a tiny studio. While he was at school I’d go there and just create, being playful with colour and mark making without any specific outcome. Slowly slowly, step by step I got back to the world of art but this time on my own terms. I create from deep, deep inside, every piece has come to me with the purpose of healing or expressing.

When you go through my art work you can visually see my life journey. Sometimes I feel exposed, yet I’m done with hiding behind a mask. I am who I am, with all my wounds and triumphs. Just an ordinary human being sailing through life and searching for a peaceful harbour.